The Difficult Conundrum Of Looking After Your Kids & Your Parents

 

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There might be a point in your life where you have two caring roles to occupy. As well as being a fantastic parent to your young children, you have to start looking after your parents. They need more attention than they used to, and you end up in a very tough position. 

Effectively, you're stuck with the difficult conundrum of trying to look after your kids without neglecting your parents, and vice versa. It makes life an even harder juggling act than it already is when you're a parent with a young family! Throw a full-time job into the mix, and it's almost impossible to take on all these roles at the same time. 

How do you solve a problem like this? As a parent and a child, is it possible to find the right balance? Let's look at a few key points that you should take into account:

It's okay to put your children first

The hardest part about being in this situation is feeling like you're choosing between your kids and your parents. You may be unable to devote time to both of them, so you have to decide where your attention goes. Believe me, your parents will not begrudge you for putting your kids first. It's probably what they want, so don't feel guilty for not taking on a caregiver role with your parents because you want to look after your kids instead. It is entirely your right, and it is also the right thing to do. 

You should try to find suitable care for your parents

The wrong thing to do is to ignore the needs of your parents if you don't have time to look after them. Choosing to look after your kids is fine, but you should still try to help your parents however you can. This could include hiring cleaners for them, working with a live-in care agency to provide them with 24/7 assistance, or even debating the idea of a care home. This means you can strike a good balance by having your parental duties and work-life to deal with while knowing that your parents are getting the care and attention they deserve. 

Visit your parents regularly

It is also a good idea to visit your parents as often as you can. For some of you, this might mean once a week, others may only be able to see them once a month. Find a good schedule to fit in your life so you can check up on them and see if they are being looked after. Seeing you and your kids will brighten their day as well, so everyone has something to look forward to. 

I think the main takeaway from this is that you don't need to make some sort of crazy ultimatum to juggle your kids and your parents. Yes, you will choose to devote most of your time to your kids, but that doesn't mean you completely cut yourself off from the responsibility of your parents. Visit them when you can, but also put things in place to help them get the care they might need.